This photo was taken on August 14, 2021
The day I wanted to walk out of my daughter's gymnastics class forever. I was frustrated, embarrassed, and wanted to disappear.
You see, she wasn’t having it. At this particular moment, she was down on her belly screaming for the entire gym to hear. For my friend and colleague to witness. Shame was blaring through my body. Then the internal dialogue started,
“Why is she doing this?”
“This is supposed to be fun!”
“We are finally out of the house, around other kids!”
“Stand up Sis, please don’t do this to me in front of people…in front of my friend…the other moms”...
I truly thought everything about gymnastics would have been fun for her…but it wasn’t. It was a battle. It took my friend, and longtime colleague (who we were taking the class with) pointing out to me that my expectations were far too high.
Talk about a tough pill to swallow. (A lot more of a sting for me, being that we are both early childhood educators and have worked side by side for years). You know, that whole forest for the trees moment when you know this information educationally, but you don’t know it practically yet because you’re a parent now and it’s waaaaaay different than being a teacher.
(Yes this was news to me and I would love to share more about that later)
She was right though.
My expectations were sky high.
I was expecting her to follow directions like a 2.5 - 3 year old.
She was 18 months.
We don’t communicate the same way with a 2.5 year old as we do with an 18 month old…
She didn’t understand me, or my expectations.
My words were too big.
I wasn't reading her.
This was the first group class my daughter had experienced, in her life, due to Covid.
Just let that sink in. First group experience. In a loud gym. With people of all ages and sizes all over the place. Flailing about. Instructors talking loudly to be heard. Periodic banging from the kids landing on the balance beams, kids running around, a giant foam pit that just calls to the kids like a moth to a flame…
That is a lot of sensory stimuli for anyone to handle.
Especially a tiny human in a new environment.
Then, the class has directions, because it's not rec gymnastics and 'they are there to learn skills'!
…well, she’s never had to follow directions in a group setting before.
Following directions is hard for an 18 month old.
Following directions in a group is harder for an 18 month old.
I could keep going but I think you get my drift.
I was more caught up with her being out in the world, in a group with peers, following the freaking class…knowing damn well exactly how 18 month olds engage with their environment in group settings…then I was with following her lead, letting her explore, and reading her cues.
I pushed.
She crumbled.
And all I wanted to do was run away and never return.
I’m so grateful to my friend for being like, ‘wait a minute Corrine…Let’s remember child development here’…It provided the perspective I was missing.
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