Learned Helplessness, An Example.

I brought out the 100 board for A to work on if he chose not to rest his body today…

For those of you not familiar with Montessori works, this is exactly what it sounds like. A board with the numbers 1-100 on it. 

While he was interacting with this, I noticed that he was rocking forward and touching the number tiles but he wasn’t helping me ‘hunt’. “It's too hard”. “I can’t find this by myself”. “I need your help”. These are all things I am otherwise willing to answer, but not today. Today it was different. He didn’t want my help. He didn’t need it either. He wanted me to do it for him. This lovely trick just about all children learn is called “learned helplessness”. In him acting like he wasn’t capable, he was hoping I would come in and do it for him. 

Not today mister. 

I already knew this activity would be overwhelming for A having observed him in play…and seeing 100 of anything is a lot in the beginning. For anyone. So, I responded to his comments a bit differently than he anticipated by supporting his autonomy instead.

I reduced the visual field of the board using a ‘shadow’ from my old classroom only allowing him to see a row of 10 at a time. (In the picture the shadow is being used vertically…I was using it this way to show him the numbers along the right side of the board, minus the zero, are the same as the numbers across the top of the board, then I blocked the opposite side to show him how all the numbers move in the same pattern, even if they are in different spots on the board). I also physically helped him group like-numbers for 7 of the 10 piles. 

Working with, and providing some simple adaptations made exploring this activity easier and more fun for A because it didn’t feel so cumbersome. It was also a hefty positive deposit in both of our connection banks. Knowing the potential for frustration was high, I preplanned and had a couple of pivots in mind to help both of us out. I did not say anything to him about his “I can’t”, and “this is too hard” instead I chose to support him through the activity where he was still doing the bulk of the content on his own. By supporting him through this activity, I was still able to get the quiet time I needed to finish out the day. He was still able to get his quiet time, and he was actively engaged in that sweet spot of ‘just challenging enough’.